Gambling Jokes

At roulette2002.com, we've provided you with a few jokes to help keep you smiling throughout your Online Roulette endeavors.

Have fun!

Not Your Average Roulette

Former U.S. President Bill Clinton was being entertained by an African leader. They'd spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out.

"The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. We learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette."

Clinton frowned: "Russian roulette is a dangerous game!"

The African leader smiled. "That's why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our country, you'll have to play. I'll show you how."

He pushed a buzzer, and in paraded half a dozen magnificently built women who immediately shed their clothes. "You can choose to receive oral sex from any of these women," he told Clinton.

As you can well imagine, THIS got Clinton's immediate attention, and he was ready to make his choice, when a thought occurred to him. "How is this related to Russian roulette?"

The African leader gave an evil smile, leaned towards Clinton and whispered, "One of them is a cannibal."

Birthday Blunder

A woman decided to treat herself to a casino getaway for her birthday. Upon entering the casino, the commotion at the roulette wheel immediately catches her eye.

She makes her way to the roulette table and says to an attractive young man standing to her left, "Today's my birthday!"

The man then suggests that, it being her birthday and all, she should play her age.

Flashing a smile at the man, she puts her money on number 29. The wheel is spun, and the ball lands on 36. The smile shrinks from the woman's face as she faints in humiliation.

Mind Games

The best bet a player can make in roulette is what is known as a "Mind Bet."

In a Mind Bet, you stand behind roulette wheel, watching the action and try to predict the winning number. The trick is that you never bet any actual money; you only bet in your mind.

I always play Mind Bets, but I don't always fare so well. Just last week, I lost my mind three times.

More Roulette Fun

Beer Roulette:

This is a game for people who have always been curious about Russian Roulette, but thought it a bit too risky. In Beer Roulette, as opposed to the more dangerous Russian variety, you risk becoming intoxicated, not dead.

Rules:

Get together with between 2 and 5 of your buddies and bring along a few six-packs of beer.

One person takes the six-pack out of the room and shakes one of the cans vigorously. He then places the shaken can into a bag with all the others. No one knows which can has been shaken. Each person chooses a can.

Everyone then takes a turn holding the can under their nose and pops it open. The person whose beer explodes is tagged as "dead" and has to sit out the next round. Everyone else drinks their opened beers and the next round then carries on with the surviving players. The last one to stay in the game wins, probably pretty drunk, but dry nonetheless.